Authors, Charas, and Jimmy Buffet
by Tori Yuki Ichimura
Summary: Talon, Taro, Nueva, Stanton, Lady Lye, Shan-Chan, ShiroKitsune, and I are hanging out with the pilots when... Meh. Hi guys! ^___^


**IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!**

**Tori: **Yep! I'm super hyper after eating Zashi's chocolate-covered mochi, so I think I'll totally disregard all responsibilities on my shoulder and have some fun with my fellow authors and my favorite Gundam people! *snaps fingers and Talon, Stanton, Taro, Shan-chan, Shiro Kitsune, Lady, Nueva, Relena, Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wu Fei appear*

**Duo & Relena: **Where's Duet!?****

**Tori: **I said "favorite Gundam people", didn't I?

**Duo & Relena: ***lips tremble*

**Tori: **Whatever. *snaps fingers and Duet appears* I'm not to happy with you right now though… My e-mail box is full after that little prank of yours…

**Duet: ***innocent grin*

**Talon: **Hey! Are you working on my challenge?

**Tori: **'Course, Talon-kun! It sounds like a great idea! And it must have been cool to fast for such a great cause.

**Talon: **…I'm hungry…

**Taro: **Amen to that, brother.

**Stanton: **Luckily, I brought this great green soda!

My fellow classmate whips out an unmarked bottle of soda which is, in fact, green, and pours all the authors and charas a cup.

**Quatre: ** Oooh! O.o* It's green! *sloshes it around in cup*

**Lady: **That's probably not normal…

**Stanton: **It won't hurt'cha!

**Lady: **No, I mean that… *points to Relena and Duet who are kissing on the couch next to her*

**All: ***megasuperhugecolossalsweatdrop*

**Shan-chan: **Do they… do that often? *gulp*

**Nueva: **Get a room! 

Nueva throws a lamp at them, which happens to be the only light in the room. The bulb shatters satisfyingly against Duet's head, but with her consciousness goes the light*

**All sans Duet: **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Taro: **Quatre, get your hand off my leg.

**Quatre: **My hand's not on your leg.

**Taro: **Then whose hand is this? *pinches hand*

**Nueva: **Ouch!

**Taro: **Alright, then it can stay.

**Everyone: ***sweatdrop*

**Wu Fei: **It must be really hot in here. We seem to be sweating a lot…

**Tori: **Yeah, it is kinda hot in here, isn't it?

**Stanton:** AH-HA! Found you my precious green Dr. Pepper-ish soda!

**Relena: ***tears in eyes* I really don't think you had to hit her.. *pokes Duet with her toe*

**Shiro: **Oh please.. No one wanted to see that.

**Heero: **I did.

**Duo: **So did I.

**Wu Fei: **Two onna? Yeah.

**Trowa: **I admit, it was mildly interesting.

**Quatre: **Actually, quite amusing.

**Talon: **Quite.

**Stanton: **Heh, I agree.

**Taro: **Why'd you make them stop!?

All the guys burst out crying and the girls shoot them disgusted looked.

**Tori: **Wait, I just wrote them doing that…

**Shan-chan: ***smacks Tori upside the head* MORON!

**Tori: ***pretending not to know English* Domo arigatou gozaimasu. *big grin*

**Shan-chan: **…that hell's wrong with her?

**Stanton: **Meh. She's always like that.

**Tori: **Nihongo ga hanasemasuka?

**Stanton: **Hai. *to everyone else* She's going to keep this up until the lights go back on.

**Taro: **Is that what she said?

**Stanton: **No, she asked if I spoke Japanese… I just know from experience.

**Shiro: **So, um… Yeah. It's still dark.

**All: ***blink blink*

**Talon: **Where do we go from here?

**Duo: **We must go on an epic quest to find a new light bulb!

**All: ***blink blink*

**Duo: **You guys got something in your eyes?

*five minutes of aimless stumbling later…*

**Shiro: **I've got the light bulbs!

**All: **Yaaaaaay!

Suddenly, the floorboards creak and a malicious laughter fills their ears. The authors, authoresses, and charas freeze in terror.

**Duo: **Duet, cut the crap.

**Duet: **Awww… 

**Relena: **She's conscious again! *glomps Duet*

**Tori: **Watashi wa tabako o suimasen.

**Talon:** What'd she say?

**Stanton: **She said she doesn't smoke.

**Heero: ***lights Tori's shoe on fire* Now she does…

**Tori: **Tasukete! Isha ga hitsuyoo desu! Kyuukyuusha o yonde kudasai! *runs in circles*

**Stanton: ***deadpan* Help. I need a doctor. Get an ambulance.

**Heero: **I know. I speak Japanese, remember?

**Tori: **O-kanjoo o onegaishimasu… *passes out and Trowa squirts her with fire extinguisher*

**Stanton: **Check please…

**Lady: **She kept it up all through that? O.o

**Shiro: ***puts new light bulb back in and the room lights up again*

**Shan-chan:** …where did Taro and Nueva go?

**Talon: **Where did Relena and Duet go?

**Wu Fei: **Where did Heero and Duo go?

**Tori: ***jumps to feet, slightly crispy* I DON'T LIKE THAT PAIRING!

**Quatre: **Everyone else does…

**Tori: ***sweatdrop* Peer pressure… *cowers in corner*

**Stanton: ***laughs* I can only imagine what she was like in high school…

Heero, Duo, Taro and Nueva walk back in, followed by a slightly-miffed looking Relena and Duet.

**Taro: ***whispers to Talon* Guess who's got a new favorite hobby?

**Relena: ***bashes the British Punisher over the head with a chair*

**Duo: ***gathers the other Gundam boys in a huddle* I don't think we're getting enough air-time in this fic…

**Trowa: **I agree. There are too many authors and authoresses to deal with.

**Heero: ** Then the solution is simple. *sparkle in eyes* We eliminate them…

The conversation dissolves into whispers and when the huddle breaks up, Quatre clears his throat. The room goes silent and all eyes are on him.

**Quatre: ***fake enthusiasm* O my God! I think there's an anime convention in the basement! *flings open the basement door*

**Authors/esses: ***suspicious looks*

**Duo: **There's pocky…!

**Authors/esses: **WAI!!! *charge through door and Trowa slams it shut behind them.

**Lady: **There's no anime convention down here…

**Shiro: **There's no pocky down here, either…

**Taro: **That was bloody mean.

**Tori: **Guys! I think I found a Duo cosplayer!

**Talon: **Tori, that's a mop.

**Shan-chan: **I can't see…

**Stanton: **Hellooo, Lady!

**Nueva: **TARO! HELP ME!

**Stanton: **Erp, hello, Nueva… Eh heh… *SLAP!*

*in the house*

**Duo: **Who's up for Frisbee!?

**Relena:** Me!

**Wu Fei: **Over here, Maxwell!

**Heero: **Hn. You couldn't catch it. This way!

**Trowa: **…!

**Quatre: **Oh! Me!

**Duet: ***jumps over couch* MEEEEEE!

Duo wings a cd at Duet for her to catch, but it flies through her hands a shatters against the wall.

**All: ***blink blink*

**Duo: **S'ok. There are a whole bunch more over here.

*in the basement*

[A/N: Kay, so I don't really have a basement… T__T]

Taro and Talon are working hard on the door's lock while the others sit in a circle singing old prison songs when a noise catches Tori's ear.

**Tori: **JIMMY BUFFET!!! *jumps to her feet and shoulders the door open* *sees her cd on the floor in pieces and goes ZERO* ARE YOU IDIOTS INSANE!?

**Trowa: **Now, listen, Tori… Let's be rational… Give us at least a five minute head start.

**Tori: **You. Killed. Jimmy. Buffet. There will be no mercy for you.

**Others: **O.o***************

            Before Tori can get Trowa in her death grip, the front door flies open and a mysterious figure is silhouetted in its frame.

**???: **Looking for one of these? *holds up a Jimmy Buffet Greatest Hits cd*

**All: ***blink blink*

**???:** *steps into the light and we see she's none other than Dorothy Catalonia*

**Duet: ** *catches her breath*

**Dorothy: ***tosses the cd on the couch and smiles seductively at the braided girl* I've come to get you, my precious…

**Talon: ***whispering to the other authors/esses* I'm getting a creepy LOTR feeling…

**Duet: ***shakes off Relena's grip on her arm* Coming, my lady… *blank eyes*

**Dorothy: ***grabs Duet's wrist when she comes close enough* Let's go…

**Relena:** NO! She's mine! *grabs Duet's other wrist*

**Heero: ***lays hand on Relena's shoulder* This is amusing. Let them go…

**Relena: ***lets go and sobs against Talon's chest*

**Dorothy: ***wicked smile* Now, precious, we make out exit. *jerks Duet into a kiss*

**Duet: ***kisses Dorothy, then collapses unconscious in her arms*

**Shan-chan: ***whispers* Isn't anyone gonna help her?

**Stanton:** Naw, she's enjoying it…

**Dorothy: ***walks out the door, supporting Duet with one arm* Ta-ta! *slams door shut*

**All: ***ker-blinkies*

**Shiro: **Does that happen often?

**Heero: **Often enough…

**Tori: ***happily clutching cd and dancing like an idiot* I LIKE MINE WITH LETTUCE AND TOMATO! HEINZ 57 AND FRENCH FRIED POTATO! BIG KOSHER PICKLE AND A COLD GLASS OF BEER! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, WHICH WAY DO I STEER!? CHEESEBURGER In paradise… *trails off as the other authors/esses lock her in the basement again*

**Quatre: **I think that's the only song she knows…

**Tori:** *muffled by door*…fins to the left… fins to the right…

**Quatre: **I stand corrected…

**_~*~Owari~*~_**

I apologize to all the authors I used in this fic.

[insert awkward silence here]

…no, I don't…

Hehehe… *still in basement that doesn't exist* O.o* GUYS! GUYS! I'M SORRY! LET ME OUT! GUYS!?!? HELLOOOOOO!?


End file.
